


How Could I Forget You?

by Leogun



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Recovered Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 06:53:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leogun/pseuds/Leogun
Summary: The Future Foundation restores the survivors memories but for Byakuya it’s bittersweet.Because he remembered how much he cared for Makoto....And now he has to deal with the fact he wanted his only true friend dead.How could he forget? He’s supposed to be better than this! How can he ever face him again?Luckily, Makoto isn’t going to give him the option.Leoguns unofficial Naegami week 2/7
Relationships: Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya
Comments: 11
Kudos: 238





	How Could I Forget You?

Byakuya gasped and gripped at the chair with his fingers, almost tearing the flimsy fabric with his nails. The memories... they hit him harder than he would like to admit. 

They had come back to him in painful flash, his actions and feelings conflicting and his heart now hurt so much more than he could ever have imagined. 

Afterwards he sat in a quiet daze, the others seemed to have left but he stayed and sat alone. Quietly reflecting. 

A life full of colour and vibrancy, where he had started to let down his guard, to feel. He remembered so much... friendships and camaraderie, the feeling of belonging. The quiet peace being beside someone you trusted, the ease of being with a friend. 

Makoto had been his friend, a true one. 

The shorter boy had always tried to understand him, had not given up on him despite Byakuya’s initial coldness to everyone around him. Over the years they had developed a bond, Byakuya had seen the strength and potential in him that was hidden under a layer of clumsiness and easygoingness. Makoto could go toe to toe with him and challenge him, he pushed him to go further and become better. But even more than that he saw the kind heart and soul in him that somehow made him feel like being kind in return. 

He cared about Makoto. The only person that truly knew him and accepted him for all he was. 

And he had wanted him dead. 

He had actively thought about the other boys death, a way to eliminate him from the killing game. Without his memories he had reverted to a creature of instinct, returning to his base perceptions. The innate need to protect himself, to distrust others and fight to eliminate all opposition.

Those cold hearted feelings of aloof indifference and selfish preservation. They would have seen everyone die without even blinking. He cared for no one, they were less than nothing to him.

Yet... Makoto had meant to much, had shared such a bond with him. So many memories... so many positive times that now shouted at him from the depths of his soul. The resonating guilt and regret were crippling him to the spot, rendering him incapable of moving. All he could think about were those happy times.. Makoto’s smile, his kind hearted ways, the way he sat at Byakuya’s side during the bad times and didn’t speak, he didn’t need to. He would know just what to do, to offer his quiet support and presence and make Byakuya feel comfort. He knew Byakuya, how he worked, how he thought. Nobody on earth got to him like Makoto Naegi, got under his skin and into his heart...Was called a friend. 

He had wanted to kill his best and only friend. He had sent him to his execution and watched him ‘die’

Nothing could atone for that, could erase his sins and make him feel better about it. He wasn’t fit to look Makoto in the eye now, not after they had both been given their memories back and knew how close they had been.. and Byakuya’s turn against him.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been lost in thought when a soft voice called him him.

“Byakuya...”

He looked up slowly and immediately had to look away as big mossy green eyes looked at him with such concern.

“Hey...” Makoto’s hand came into his field of vision to touch his own and he jerked away roughly. Too ashamed to take comfort his ex best friend was offering, surely Makoto couldn’t want to be his friend any longer, not after all of this.

A moment passed, Byakuya firmly staring at the ground and willing Makoto to just walk away from him when he heard a soft sob. 

“Why won’t you look at me? Do you hate me now?”

Unable to resist he looked up in shock. Makoto stood with tears pooling in his eyes, his bottom lip quivering and his fists firmly grasping at his hoodies hem as though to anchor him. 

“Of course I don’t hate you”

“Then why won’t you touch me?” Makoto offered his hand weakly and Byakuya couldn’t bring himself to take it. His hand lingered in the air for a moment before it wavered then dropped to his side “I knew it... now your remember me... you despise me”

“Huh?” Byakuya looked back at him in shock “I don’t understand.. Why would you think that.. from our memories?”

“Because... you respected me in the killing game as a worthy adversary... now you remember me...” he sniffed quietly “how I always tried to get you to like me, how pathetic I was... trying to be your friend...” his voice trailed off as he swallowed heavily “you... were always so strong... you didn’t need me.. but i wanted you to so much. To value me and want me in your life... to call me a friend.. and now... you can’t even look at me anymore”

The tears were spilling over now and ran down his cheeks as he cried quietly. He had a dignity in it that only Makoto could have.

On instinct Byakuya jumped to his feet and held the shorter boy to him. The contact making him remember just how touch starved he had been... how long it had been since he felt the closeness of an embrace, the warmth of someone else reassuring you and soothing you. He liked it so much despite his mind telling him he was unworthy of Makoto.

“That’s not it at all” Byakuya said quietly against Makoto’s ear “I can’t look at you because I’m ashamed.. of my own weakness”

“Huh?” Makoto pulled back to look at him  
and this time he forced himself to maintain eye contact, to not look away. Makoto deserved this much from him.

“Makoto... you were my friend. My only friend.. the best friend I ever had. I treasured your company and I...” he sighed as shame washed over him once more “I can’t look at you! Because you deserve better than this! Because I betrayed our friendship and I don’t deserve to look at you.. I... I wanted you dead”

Makoto blinked back at him wide eyed and confused.

“I tested you, planned how to kill you and how to win this game, I wanted you gone! The only person to ever really care for me and I... planned your demise! I’m just like everyone always said Makoto, I’m a bad person through and through! You deserve... so much more..”

Makoto was shaking his head “I don’t care about any of that Byakuya! The game wasn’t your fault you just..”

“No Makoto!!” Byakuya cut him off angrily “you can’t just forgive that! Don’t you understand? I wanted you to die! I planned to *kill* you myself if that’s what it took! You can’t just forgive that! You can’t!”

“I can!” Makoto’s voice was just as firm and authorative despite the tear streaks on his face “there is *nothing* to forgive! They took our memories from us! You didn’t *remember* me!”

“I should have!” Byakuya yelled “I... I’m supposed to be better than this! I wasn’t strong enough... I.. let them.. almost make me kill.. the only person I ever cared for!”

“If you still care about me then don’t abandon me!” Makoto yelled back “the game wasn’t your fault but this right now, this will be! Please don’t! because this feeling here right now... this is despair”

Byakuya went silent, shocked quiet by Makoto’s words.

“If you really cared about me... then... recover with me..”

“I’ve.. made you cry...” his fingers brushed over the tear marks on his cheeks. His skin was so soft, his big green eyes so sad and expressive. He was so lovely, perfect even.....

“Because I miss you so much. Remembering our life... the times we spent where I was truly happy and I thought you didn’t view them in the same way”

“Of course I do... you... you’re all my school memories. Our friendship...” he swallowed “was the highlight of... Everything.. and I’m ashamed I forgot”

“There’s nothing we can do about.. what was done to us, but please don’t let it tear us apart...” Makoto looked shy as he stared into his eyes, his cheeks dusted in pink “I need you Byakuya... I can’t get through this without you”

“I need you too... I’m sorry... for everything”

“I’m sorry too... for everything we lost”

This time he hugged Makoto to him closely and allowed himself to revel in the contact. The warmth and comfort of his body and the feeling of being cared for. The old feelings of loyalty, friendship... the calm that Makoto brought to his turbulent mind. He hadn’t even known it was missing and now he had it back it soothed him to his very core and made him feel whole again.

“Thank you...” he whispered “Thank you for fighting for me.. you always did. I don’t know why you ever cared about me so much but... I don’t want to loose it again”

“Byakuya...” Makoto met his gaze with a nervous expression on his face “I always cared... I...” he looked away, the blush on his cheeks intensifying and Byakuya couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking... what was making him fluster so much.

“During our time at school, I got to truly know you... got to be your friend and I... I felt closer to you than anyone. I knew... it was special but only now, after all of this... I can put a name to what I feel”

“What do you feel?” His voice was barely a whisper. Partially scared to hear the next words from Makoto’s mouth.

He looked at him straight in the eye with the focused determination he recognised in him from the class trials. The way Makoto could cloak himself In bravery when he needed to was unlike anyone else he had ever known.

“Byakuya...” Makoto’s fingers lightly skimmed his hand and he felt himself opening his palm in acceptance. Makoto’s smaller, soft fingers laced together with his and all of a sudden it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. Makoto’s body was pressed against his, an arm still around Makoto’s waist from their hug and Makoto’s other hand was holding his tightly. The smaller boy was looking up into his eyes with focus and pink tinged cheeks and the air around them was loaded, the tension now palpable and he didn’t know why. Why was his heart hammering against his rib cage? Why was he so scared of what was going to happen next? And why did holding Makoto like this feel so good. 

So many feelings churned away in his stomach, so many memories and conflicting feelings. All he knew... was that Makoto was the most important person in earth to him. Even with his conflicted thoughts, with his guilt and the regret. His biggest instinct was to hold Makoto and never let him go.

Makoto took a deep breath. He squeezed Byakuya’s hand tightly as he composed himself and then spoke with honesty and sincerity in his words

“I’m in love with you”

His heart felt like it had stopped as a cold and warm feeling washed over him like a tide. Shock etched on his features as he started down dumbfounded at his old friend. Makoto... loved him?

Memories flashed through his mind, racing through and reminding him of all the times he had been happy in the time that had been robbed from him. All those times included Makoto.

Makoto and he having coffee together, Makoto showing him how to play a video game while Byakuya pretended to hate it just so Makoto would sit closer and explain it to him again. Them sitting under a tree In PE watching the others race as they talked, sharing some cake on his birthday. Staying up late together in his dorm room when he couldn’t sleep, walking together side by side. The time someone called him an asshole and Makoto told them off, the time they fell asleep in his room and he woke up to Makoto nestled against his side and Byakuya had simply rubbed his hair affectionately and gone back to sleep, feeling content and peaceful. Studying together, laughing, reading a book to a Makoto who leaned over the table listening in earnest. The way he couldn’t help but smile when his best friend was at his side. The way when they touched it made him feel happy... that he wanted to stay like that and he would keep the contact as long as possible, never seeming strange the way they would sit so close... now he saw it. Now he understood, it wasn’t just his memories that Junko had taken from him... it was his ability to feel... the ability to love

“I love you too Makoto” 

He didn’t know he did until right this second, but saying it sent relief washing over him. He felt at peace, finally, finally it all made sense. The reason Makoto was so firmly in his heart... the reason he felt such guilt and pain for his treacherous thoughts in the killing game was because... he loved him. 

Makoto was staring at him with a mixture of amazement and relief on his face 

“R...really?”

“Yes.. it’s always been you Makoto”

The smile that spread over Makoto’s face warmed his heart so thoroughly. He could never regret this, never doubt his feelings were true because this right now was the closest thing to perfect the world had ever been. 

Makoto shyly leaned up, standing on his tiptoes and the act was so endearing that Byakuya leaned down to meet him. Gently he met Makoto’s lips in a soft kiss that set his heart racing. It felt so natural and yet exhilarating, for the first time he felt nervous. As Makoto parted from him and looked up at him through lidded eyes with a bashful expression on his lovely face Byakuya couldn’t resist. 

He kissed Makoto again, and again and again until the world disappeared. His pain forgotten, everything else obsolete as he lost himself to Makoto. His eyes had lulled closed and he reached up to gently caress Makoto’s cheek and cup his face tenderly. It was perfect, for the first time In years he was happy. 

“I love you” he whispered against Makoto’s lips, reaffirming his words because he liked how they sounded 

“I love you too” Makoto whispered back breathlessly and Byakuya liked how that sounded even more.

“Let’s not waste anymore time.. let’s be together.. l don’t want to be without you for a second longer”

“Neither do I... now I remember everything I... I need you. Yes.. I want to be with you”

So much time had been robbed from them, so much precious time. His past with Makoto had been taken from him but now.. stronger than ever they had the future. And he was going to spend it all with this ray of sunshine that had brightened his life and given him hope. 

So they kissed again soft and slow as though solidifying their commitment to each other. Nothing could have prepared him for what had happened today, never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined he harboured love for Makoto. 

However, with the warmth of excitement and contentment racing through him, the adoration for Makoto’s lovely face lit up with happiness. The feeling of finally coming home.

He wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Extra:

He couldn’t stop kissing him as he pushed him down gently onto the bed to hold him close, fingers tangling into his hair. Makoto squirmed and made a beautiful sound as he kissed him back just as hard. 

Makoto felt amazing, his lips were beautifully soft and compliant under his own, the way his tongue moved against his so maddeningly and the feeling of his skin.. his body pressed against him warm and comforting. How had Byakuya not done this before? How had he not realised his feelings for Makoto... their friendship.. had been more. That the way Makoto was firmly ingrained under his skin and close to his heart was *romantic*

Either way, now that he had figured it out he wasn’t letting Makoto go. Nobody was ever going to take this feeling away from him, he was happy again finally. Makoto and he... together... as they should be.

Makoto gasped and Byakuya pulled away to let him catch his breath, planting kisses across Makoto’s neck and listening to his breath hitch as he sighed.

Makoto’s hoodie was in the way, he unzipped it and Makoto helped him remove it from his shoulders so Byakuya could set about covering him in kisses more easily.

Makoto giggled as Byakuya moved to press kisses all over his cheeks and face.

“That tickles!”

Byakuya just smiled and continued, kissing him silly until Makoto was an absolute mess laughing and struggling to breathe as he squirmed and wriggled in his arms.

“Oh my god Byakuya! That tickles so much!” Makotos face was pink and the huge smile that split his face was balm to Byakuya’s soul. He pressed one more kiss to his nose and Makoto smiled at him so happily as his laughter died down.

“I didn’t know you’d.. be so.... you’re funny”

Byakuya cupped his cheeks softly stroking his face and watching the expression on Makoto’s face. The way his nose crinkled as he smiled, the brightness of his big green eyes and how they sparkled, the light dusting of cocoa powder like freckles across his nose and cheeks. He had looked at Makoto so many times but he had never *really* seen him. Not like this.

Leaning closer his words ghosted over Makoto’s ear

“I love you”

“Byakuya....” Makoto whispered, fingers clutching at Byakuya’s shoulders tightly “I love you too, please stay with me... love me, never leave me”

“I won’t leave you... I’ll stay by your side” he whispered into his ear now “you’ll have me now for all time”

Makoto crashed their lips together kissing him hard. His hands clenched tight in Byakuyas hair holding him firmly.

“Promise me... please”

“I swear to you Makoto... I’ll love you always. If you promise me you’ll be mine in return”

....

“I was always yours”


End file.
